Once upon a time in a land far far away (from Londonium) a group of dedicated chilli growers, known locally as Ye Olde Berkhamsted Chilli Growing Society, got up early one bright and frosty morning to run a jovial five miles to help raise funds for a worthy community project know as Ye Berkhamsted Astro Project.

They had great plans of much Stella time, merriment, feasting (well Porkie/Chubby Cheeks/Chilliman/Notaflicker* did) and dancing late into the night but after the gruelling five miles they just needed a long rest and an early night.

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Some of them gathered round Burt and Doris’s house.

Long suffering old Burt got extra earache and another hoovering demonstration after one of his crew left mud all over her floors.

Porkie/Chubby Cheeks/Chilliman/Notaflicker* left a large trail of crumbs, Burt is taking Doris to Costco in the morning hoover shopping.

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Neal yet again demonstrating his desire to cross dress, I can’t work out if he’s wearing his wife’s underwear this time or not.

Probably not the best advert for Hendersons Relish a fatty in a tutu.

En route to the start line the paparazzi were beginning to annoy some of our high profile junior members. For our next outing we’ll hire a stretched Hummer with privacy glass.

At the Berkhamsted Cricket Club we picked up a few more chilli growers.

We were only let down by a few members who, rumour had it, had locked themselves in a cupboard to avoid the run.

The view of a focused runner who doesn’t like carrots much.

Porkie/Chubby Cheeks/Chilliman/Notaflicker* seconds before he took a tactical dive outside a curry house to avoid breaking into a sweat.

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That’s a ruddy big hill that is and that’s swearing. The upskirt view wasn’t great either.

A focused chilli growing runner keeping his mind focused on reaching his goal. With that technique I think he could run marathons.

If you’ve ever wondered what happened to Shergar, he got old and into cross dressing.

Thankfully some of us did actually finish (Porkie/Chubby etc notwithstanding). Recognise those 2 sneaking past at the back!

Thanks to all everyone that donated to our wonderful cause and shame on those of you that stiffed us (bloody Aston Clinton Chilli Growing Society), however if you would like to donate to our worth cause visit out Just Giving page here.